The legend of Gordon



I have been staying in the same 4 bed dorm for a few days now. To begin with I had the guy who kept waking up to pray at 5am, then the night before last it got worse. A palestine who must've been at least 25 stone came wading into the room at midnight and started talking to everyone, even though it was obvious that we were all trying to sleep. He was on the bunk above me and asked if I wanted to swap as I'd die if it collapsed, but I thought to myself 'fuck you', why should I inconvenience myself just because you can't say no to 15 deserts after every meal. There are 3 steps up the ladder and I swear by the time he reached the top he was on the verge of a heart attack, he was out of breath for 15 minutes. What followed was one fo the worst nights sleep of my life. He couldn't lie on his side or front due to his sheer size, so for the next 8 hours the other three of us lay there listening to some of the most unbelievable snoring you'll ever hear. I cracked at about 3am and started rocking the bed intermittently to wake him, but he'd fall asleep again within a minute.

Stop, Tazer time



I think he got the hint that he wasn't so welcome and thankfully he moved into the room next door the following day, but we could still all hear him through the frigging wall! Anyway, I have been hanging around with Gordon for the past few days, he's a 74 year old english man who has simple tastes (wine and hookers) and is a very nice and intersting chap. Yesterday evening we went to the local night bazaar, which had some of the most random things for sale that you could wish to see. On one stall they sold stun-guns (tazers). I was setting it off and it certainly sounded real, I tried to convince Gordon to let me try it on him but he was not so keen. There were so many gifts that I wanted to buy but I can't carry them around for another 3 months, Dad, I had earmarked you the ashtray at the bottom of this page, I know you'd appreciate it....



Gordon mused

Today we went into Chinatown, wow what a place. The first thing that hits you is the smell. The closest description I could make is imagine being strapped to the counter of the fish stall in Hereford Butter Market whilst people pour cups of gravy and vinegar over you and smother you in onion and faeces and then banger spits on you - it's something akin to that. The smell was relentless, I could probably name about 5% of the food things that wre available for sale, there were som massive grub things which almost made me spew.

What the fuck are these things



We have a new guy called Scott staying in the room tonight. I have triple padlocked my rucksack to the bunk bed before I left - lesson two of travelling - never trust a white man with dreadlocks. I also as a rule do not trust people named Scott, but that's a bit more of a sweeping generalisation; whereas the dreadlock statement is based upon anecdotal evidence compiled over a short period of time.





Best ashtray ever



Ouch baby, very ouch

Well as most of you have probably heard I finally went to the hospital to find that I'd broken my foot and have done some ligament damage. I opted not to seek further analysis of the ligament damage as it would have cost a lot of money so I'll just wait until back in the Uk... I have to take 12 pills a day for the next week and it's already starting to feel a bit better, I just wish I'd had these pills for Angkor Wat 3 days after it happened! I also went to the dentist, and after a consultation about my toothache we got talking about cosmetic work. Needless to say her pitch was successful so I'm now having 6 crowns done on my lower front teeth! I spent 4hrs in the chair yesterday which was a fucking pleasure. I have another 2hrs today and then some more on Friday, so I'm stuck in Bangkok until I meet the girls for Vietnam on Sunday, fun times!

I'm not usually one for religious debate, but the fat knacker in the bunk above me gets up at 4.50am every morning and rocks the entire bed for about 15 minutes. I just hope he is praying and not something altogether more fowl. The first night I stayed in this hostel was quality, I was sharing with a Geordie guy and we went out and got leathered. We decided to go to where all the Thai people go out, so we were treated like celebrities when we got there! We went to a tiny local bar first and they'd never heard what a bucket was, so me and Chris spent about 15 minutes trying to explain to them tue concept, and in the end we just made them ourselves with a half bottle of Whisky, two red bulls and a coke. On kohsarn rd this would've cost about 300bt, here it cost 90bt, result! After a couple of hours we had them all on them, and the Thais don't handle their drink so well!

So I'm stuck in Bangkok but I'm beginning to warm to the place a bit; there is far more to see when you have easy access to the sky train and metro. I've been for a proper explore and with another 6 days on my hands I'll know the place back to front by the time I leave! So I'm stuck here for the forseeable future but hopefully this praying bastaaaad will do one soon and I'll be able to get a decent nights sleep, if he doesn't then I'm going to wake him at 3am every night and shout the lords prayer in his face and then at 6am I'll get the guitar and sing kum by yah in his face. My tolerance is being tested. I'm fairly sure this is exactly how religious conflict first began.

Back in fookin Bangkok

Okay, back in ruddy Bangkok to try and get me some root canal surgery and a medical opinion on my shitbag ankle. It has been 3 months since I was able to eat or drink with the right side of my mouth and I'm beginning to get the impression that something may be wrong. I arrived last night at about 10pm after a lovely 14hr bus journey. I lost feeling in my legs after 2hrs but on the plus side I had a lovely 1hr opportunity to stand up in an uncovered queue waiting to get into Thailand... So today I have wandered the streets of Bangkok trying to find a dentist that doesn't look like they have wooden dentistry tools and maybe even sterilises what they do have... Not found a medical centre with any hint of credentials, so heading to the Bangkok Christian hospital tomorrow, what a treat this past couple of days has been, for once there are no smug undertones to be found! Hopefully I'll be able to get the hell out of here and head to chiang mai tomorrow

Koh Rong

Following quite a boozy few days in Shianoukville I thought I'd go and relax a bit, so booked a ferry over to Koh Rong for the next day. I hadn't done my research (shock) and someone told me that evening that there are only two guesthouses on the island, with the cheapest bungalow running at 15 dollars. I was a little bit worried that I was going to end up having to spend 15 bucks a night, which is way beyond my budget. However, on the tuk tuk ride I met a french girl and then on the boat we met another 3 frenchies, so there ended up being 5 of us which made it significantly cheaper.

When the boat landed it resembled paradise. I think there was probably no more than 100 people on the island at any one time, the majority of whom are transient. The islanmd doesn't have electricity so they turn on a generator at around 7pm and everyone hangs out in a big open air bamboo shack. The toilets were pretty bad as you could not put paper down the pan, so there was a bucket of shit rags to greet you every visit. Luckily I'd had explosive diohrea for a couple of days so I was pleased with the conditions.



Sir, you seem to have forgotten you calvin classics



The first night me and the frenchy's headed over to the shack for some food and buckets (they all now call me simon bucket, it's going to be hard drinking alcohol out of anything but a bucket back in the UK... Dad, if you're reading, i'd like a customised drinking bucket for my 30th.....). I still had a bit of a dodgy gut and at around 9pm, sat with 4 recently met frenchies, I took a calculated risk which backfired. So I was sat with shit in my pants and nowhere to turn. Luckily all four of them had a string of garlic around their necks so I don't think they could smell it. When they all took their baguettes out to start eating I siezed my opportunity and waddled off to the toilets to ditch my pants in the shit rag bin. Winner.



Daddy still loves you Harvey

There was a very unusal climate on the island. You could almost always hear thunder and see lightening in the distance over the mainland, so you found yourself sunbathing whilst listening to thunder! After three years of studying geography at uni I should probably know the explaination, but all I can tell you about those three years is how to put on two stone and sleep until 5pm. When the storms did hit they hit in style, I saw some immense lightening and I've never heard thunder that loud (almost needed another change of pants one night). I think perhaps my favourite thing about our bungalow resort was that they had three 6 week old puppies who you could play with every night, made me really miss Harvey... If you're reading Bully, I hope you're being ruddy bloody brave for your daddy.



My only cause for concern over the past week or so on Koh Rung is the continuing failure of my wounds to heal. It has now been over 6 weeks since I got bitten by a spider or something, and they still have not healed. Ruddy annoying, as i'm disinfecting 3 times a day and going through about 5 plasters a day. Also, the foot I injured in bangkok is still swelling up regularly and feels weird, so i'm off to Thailand tomorrow to see a doc in Bangkok (fun 14hr bus journey) before Chiang Mai and Pai...

My injuries bring me neatly onto the topic of hatred, and I'm pleased to announce that I have a newly established hatred no.3 to sit proudly alongside sky television customer services and cyclists. So coming in at number 3 is flies. What a complete fucking waste of life they are. Seriously, do they serve any purpose whatsoever? All they do is swarm around my wounds and repeatedly infect them with their sick fucking eggs, or, swarm around my food trying to spew on it. What is your fucking problem bitches.

Alongside sunbathing the island had some decent jungle to explore, I went in and came out looking like I had measles. Because activities were relatively limited it gave me an opportunity to read and write alot, and then get smashed at night. Because it was so small you got to know everyone there, which was really cool (if you liked them). After two nights there and a number of buckets I started to assume the tag of village idiot, which quickly descended smoothly and predictably into the role of town drunk. My exile was finally confirmed this morning when I awoke on a boat hogtied and gagged. My possessions were beside me and infront of me lay a bucket of whisky noted "thank you, NEVER COME BACK'' with the soiled pants from night one draped over one side.



Soberville



All the ingredients for a relaxing nights sleep



Hi all, i'm not sure what day I arrived in Shianoukville, but my first night here was one to remember. My bus journey took about 7hrs and by the time I got here I was knackered. I found a hostel at Serendepity beach which had 3 dollar dorms and the place said it had a swimming pool and a spa. Sweet I thought. What they failed to mention was that the place was also a fucking nightclub that went on until 6am. I had treated myself to a 'happy' shake so by 11.30pm I was so ruddy tired. My dorm accommodated 28 people and also formed the corridor to the adjoining 28 bed dorm. All that seperated me from the nightclub area was a thin wall and a plate glass door. Every ten minutes or so someone would open the door and the music was pretty quiet. I think I finally fell asleep at about 5am and awoke again at 7am with some sweaty greasy blokes face about 10 inches away from mine. Oh what a relaxing relaxing nights sleep that was. I got up and left immediately!

The following day Noraly who I met diving arrived so upgraded the accommodation somewhat, it's much easier to do when you have someone else... The town of Shianoukville is quality, there are several beautiful beaches at our disposal and the weather is pretty scorching all day long. It's quite a party town too, I'm not sure how long I've been here but there have been some late nights... We met an Irish lad called Leon who's also staying at our hostel, so the other day we all got a happy shake and sat and watched films for the afternoon which was a nice break and has given me a chance to heal a bit! I watched the killing fields film and quickly realised that a bloke who kept giving me cloting and drinks on the train from Bangkok was very probably Khmer Rouge, as he gave me a red headscarf and was dressed in full military gear. I was walking around the night train all night with this scarf tied around my head, it probably wasn't going down well with the locals I imagine....



We got a tuk tuk down to Otres beach the other day which was a stunning and almost completely deserted beach, paradise... It's really cheap here so I think I may stick around for a little bit longer. We booked on to a booze cruise the day before yesterday and went out for a few looseners, turned into an all night bucket fest that went on until about 7am, ideal preperation for the booze cruise that kicked off at midday. I was pretty hanging and the prospect of a boat journey was low on my priority list, but once I had my first beer I perked up somewhat. The day was just panadamonium, I think I had about 5 beer bongs and by the end of the day they were filling mine with peach schnapps, feeling pretty tidy today like. The boat anchored a couple of times and we could jump into the sea or go exploring. We swam onto an island and found a lake. It looked pretty rancid but I dipped my toes in and it was absolutely boiling at the bottom and cold at the top so there were some geothermals going on. It was so nice in that lake but the water was pretty skanky and I couldn't help thinking that it wasn't doing much good for all of my wounds so made an exit!



The rest of the day turned pretty manic as people were getting more and more pissed and there were all sorts of antics going on! We got back onto shore about 7pm and they laid on a BBQ for us so we had a few more drinks. We were all covered in luminous paint so I thought I'd better go and get a change of clothes and a shower, when I looked in the mirror I was like a minstrel, my face was completely blacked out! I'm not sure how that happened or at what point, but I'd been walking around the town for about 3hrs in that state!



Geothermal lake

I'm not really sure what my plans are from here, I may go and stay on an island called Koh Rungg









The Stinger



Phnom Phen



S21 prison



Today has represented somewhat a change of tack from the previous week, and it has been both humbling and sombering. We booked a tuk tuk to take us to the notorious S21 prison in phnom pehn and the killing fields just outside of the city. The prison was pretty horrific. It is no longer operational but was a former school that was siezed by the khmer rouge (communist party) in 1974. Over the next 5 years around a third of Cambodians were killed (3m+) and S21 was the point of arrival for many. We were told that the leader of the party (Pol Pot) ordered all intellectual people and the wealthy (doctors, teachers, lawyers) etc be taken to S21, where they were tortured and held for a number of months before being taken by lorry to the kiling fields and beaten to death. The Khmer Rouge considered that the less intellegent would be much easier to control.

They kept detailed records and pictures of all of those processed through S21 and there was pictures of them at arrival hung throughout the prison, along with blood etc in the cells and the torture machines and methods.



Open graves at the killing fields



We were then taken to the largest killing field in Cambodia, although this is only one of 345 around the country. The captives were bought here and killed on the day of arrival and thrown into huge open graves. We were told that the rouge had brainwashed children between 8 - 15 years old who were the one's who would be beating people to death. Pretty horrific stuff. We were shown things like a tree that they used to kill babies against infront of their mothers, who would then also be killed.



Since control was regained in 1979 a monument to those who were

 9,985 skulls in memorial

killed has been built, and contains the skulls of 9,985 victims, whilst many have never been exhumed. During the rainy season dirt is washed away and there are bits of bone and clothing sticking out of the top soil pretty much everywhere you look. Sorry to be so explicit but this blog also serves as a diary for myself and it's something that was really very affecting. The world was not aware that these autrocities were going on until control of Cambodia was regained with the assistance of the vietnamese army in 1979. A number of journalists from the USA and europe had tried to report on this but their remains were also recovered from the killing field when the remains were extracted in the 1980s.

So today has been quite an eye opening experience. Whilst Pol Pot died of natural causes in 1998 and was never brought before a courtroom, his 5 most senior generals were (or are awaiting) trial in Cambodia, one of which recieived 35 years. Many of the Cambodian people had only a choice of serve the party or be killed, and those involved are now free and have never been charged. It is difficult to know how to view those walking the streets around me over the age of 40, as you know that they have seen some awful, awful things, but for all I know they may have been actively involved. Only 7 people ever made it out of the prison alive.

So it has been quite an emotional day for us all, tommorrow I head off on my own again to a place called sianouk ville (or something) where I'm going to chill out a bit and do some more diving. The last six weeks or so has been pretty manic and I have only had a chance to lie down on a beach for one day, so it will be nice to relax and soak up some rays! 

Siem Riep

Hola all... I've been in siem riep for the past few nights. Last night was an interesting one, I should have been resting up the ankle in preparation for an 8hr 9am bus journey to phenm pehn. Instead I went out and drank 4 buckets of Whisky. I met a few Brits on tour and things got out of hand. At 3am I went to find somewhere to watch the football in quite the state. Now I'd read the lonely planet regarding safety in Cambodia and it recommends not to walk alone at night, but the place felt fairly safe. I Was stumbling along (the pain in my ankle was somewhat numbed by this point) and suddenly someone jumped on me from behind. After a moment of blind panic and a little bit of poo I managed to establish that it was infact a small Cambodian boy who had hopped aboard for a free lift. So for the next 15 minutes I was walking around with a small child attached to my back. Come 5am and the end of a match that I have absolutely zero recollection of, I embarked on the 10 minute walk home only to find that my hostel had been completely locked up. my room mate dror had gone home hours ago. Therefore I had to 'sleep' on the floor until my hostel was reopened at around 8am. We then hopped aboard what had been billed a VIP bus with reclining chairs for our "5hr" journey. The bus turned up and the seats didn't recline but at least the seats were fairly comfortable. Anyway, this bus took us about 2 miles to a bus station where we were transferred to the biggest shit heap of a bus I've ever seen. It was completely full so I had to sit with a random right next to the toilet and above the wheels. The bone shaking suspension not only rattled my teeth but also kept me awake for the next 8hrs. For some reason I also kept getting a boner which really added to the comfort of sitting next to an old Cambodian woman whilst wearing nothing but sports shorts. Myfoot has also ballooned to a new size which I can fairly confidently attribute to last nights piggy back ride, but being the hypochondriac I am, I'm starting to wonder if it's something more sinister. I've been assured it's nothing to worry about by the isrealis, whom after two weeks of travelling together have had plenty of time to witnessand monitor my injury progress, so I'm taking their advice on this one! The wound under my foot has been complimented with a chunk off the end of my big toe, but old lefty is relatively unscathed, so I'm currently placing really quite a strong reliance on it. Cambodia is insanely cheap, I have an air conditioned room for 5 dollars a night and 200 burns costs about 3 quid, so at least the cancer is a bargain out here...

Angkor Wat wat wat

Today we all got up at 5am and caught a tuk tuk from Siem Rep to Angkor Wat. We had the tuk tuk all day for  cost of $5 each (about 3 pounds) so it was  pretty reasonable price, and unlike Bangkok, they actually took us where we wanted to go with no unscheduled tailor stops!

We arrived at the main Angkor Wat temple at around 6.15am and the sunrise over there was incredible.

I believe there are something like 300 temples over a huge site so it was good to have the tuk tuk as my foot is completely fucked. I have a sprained ankle and a wound on the bottom of the same foot that refuses to heal. This hampered me somewhat as the temples all involved an impossible amount of steps and some of them were pretty ruddy expansive. There were also hundreds of little Cambodian children at every turn who are trying to sell you tat and beg slumdog style, and they singled me out as the weakest of the pack as I couldn't get away as quickly as everyone else, so I got a severe hassling to go with my severe pain! It was a great experience though and one which I won't forget in a hurry.

I think i'm going to spend a few more days in Siem Rep as I really like it here, whilst the Israeli's are all heading off to southern Cambodia and/or Vietnam. I need to rest my fookin foot a bit as I need to be able to make a faster get away from beggers, then I think I may head down to the south Cambodian coastline, which is a little more off the beaten track but supposed to be pretty ruddy sweet. In the spirit of this blog I'll leave you with one final picture of my foot in its current state, as I know how much everyone enjoys looking at them. Peace homies

Injured for a change

Yep so last night I picked up the obligitory injury. No idea how it happened or at what point it happened but woke up this morning with a tidy little sprained ankle.

My iphone has also stopped working today, it randomly turned off so I'm hoping that it will be a temporary glitch. Last night I ate a scorpion from a street stall, tasted like shit and not looking forward to crapping it out.

Mmmm yummy

I think we're going to some market that only sells stolen goods later so i'll either get robbed or pick up a new iphone.... Going to watch the arsenal game with all of the Israelis later, teach them a thing or two about football, then off to Cambodia at 6am tomorrow, so again, the correspondence may slow down again... Laters gays

Tell me about the ladyboys

I've been in Bangkok for a few days now, and frankly I'll be glad to see the back of it... It's a sweaty, festering dirthole that is full of scum, disease and detritus! I think one day would've been plenty for me here, but I'm in a fairly big group and things always take much longer to decide... I've now booked a tidy little 9th bus journey to Cambodia which leaves on Sunday morning, it's 3hrs in a minibus to the border and then a local Cambodian bid for 6hrs, which will be fucking horrendous I reckon... I'm heading there with two ex military forces Israelis who I met in koh Tao and meeting a few more of their friends from Israel who are coming too (hence waiting around here for another couple of days)... They are really cool guys and have taught me a lot about their culture and upbringing which has been so interesting to learn. I've had some interesting experiences in Bangkok, the first day I got here myself and a different Israeli + a Norwegian girl got a tuk tuk ride, which the Thai driver assured us would take us to see all of the sights and would last about an hour. I was slightly suspicious as he was quoting a fee of about 20p each, whereas most others were about a quid. But thought fuck it, the Israeli guy is an absolute tank so felt safe enough: it started off fine and we went to see a couple of temples and some of the golden bhuddas... He then asked if we could go to a tailors as he'd get a free tank of petrol if he brought tourists, so we said sure. Got there and these douchebag salesmen were unbelievably pushy, but resisted buying anything. After this the tuk tuk driver said we were going to a government building, which turned out to be a travel agents that he was obviously also on commission from. Our next stop, which je said would be the golden temple, turned out to be a jewellerry store. By this point we'd been going for an hour and a hog and we were starting to grow a bit irrate, as the traffic was horrendous and we'd been breathing this shit air in scorching heat for long enough. Anyway, to cut a long story short he took us to another tailors and then started getting reaally fucked off that we weren't buying suits as it meant he wasn't getting any free petrol. We demanded he took us to the golden temple and when we got there he said we were only allowed 10 minutes, even though we'd just spent the last 2hrs being driven to places that we didn't want to go to! His driving became so irrate the angrier he got, so by the time we demanded to be taken back we were going round corners on 1.5 wheels! Lesson learnt, don't take 20p guided tours!!!

The next night we went to a ping pong show, which was different! Saw some things that will be scorched on to my retinas until the day I die! Also saw the first rain that I've seen for a month last night and had my first hot shower in a month which felt so nice, such luxuries are probably I'll advised just before going to cambodia...

The city is just so fucking dirty, after living in idyllic surroundings for a month it just feels disgusting. All of my injuries, cuts and bites that had begun to heal have now started to become infected again and the food has given me a bad stomach for last couple of days, definitely glad to see the back of this ruddy places... Peace

Koh Toa

After the full moon I decided to head off on my own again and it was off to Koh Toa to take the Padi course. Because so many people had descended on to Koh Phangan for full moon there was no accommodation left on the island and I had a pretty tidy night sleeping on the beach with my rucksack and day pack chained to me, very relaxing and comfortable. I sort of woke up (if you could even describe what I had as sleep) and I had some horrendous bites on my ankles which spewed out pus for about a week. I headed into town and found Bans diving school and signed up for the padi that day. I was incrdibly lucky with the group that I'd been put with, and have spent the past week hanging out with all of them and we're now all in bangkok together.

There were 4 Israeli guys who have all just finished their national service in the army and are now off to see some of the world, one english guy called ollie who was just out to party and nail as many girls as he could (he was 18 and reminded me of a young me!). Also had a couple of dutch girls and a swedish guy who was another party animal, and an austrian guy who was really cool. Spent the first day in the swimming pool and then next day headed out to the ocean for our first two dives.





The dives were really good fun and the next day I enjoyed it even more and had by that point had decided that I wanted to do the advanced course, which involved diving to 30m instead of 18m and going off on our own without instructors. On the 30m dive I had one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I was swimming in a group of 6 and I was at the back with my buddy jonas, who couldn't get the hang of boyancy and kept floating off towards the surface. Suddenly our divemaster turned towards me and started swimming at me at an alarming rate. Before I knew it someone behind me had ripped off my mask and the air supply got pulled out of my mouth. I fucking shit my pants and I was fully on the verge of a panic attack 30m beneath the sea. The divemaster got my mask back on and shoved his emergency regulator in my mouth and tried to calm me down. He worte on his slate that we'll talk on the surface. We were only 10 minutes into a 40 minute dive so swam around for the next half an hour trying to work out why he'd tried to kill me! Turns out that there was a trigger fish that had been attacking my fins for the past few minutes and the second dive master was trying to spin me round and accidently ripped off my mask!

That evening we went on a night dive which was unreal. If was so eerie going down in pitch black, but you could wave your hand around and the plancton glows luminous green. It was like being on another planet. Saw some rays, a turtle, a sea snake and hundreds of other fish. Every night we were going out and getting smashed on buckets, which wasn't really advisable but whatever, we made it through and all qualified...

After finishing the course we all hired scooters and snorkels and went off to shark bay for the day. Right outside of the rental shop a Norwegian girl called Martina tried to pull away and turned the accelerator to full and crashed spectacularly into the rental shop, she ended up with a 10,000bt bill (about 2,500 pounds!). Spent the afternoon swimming around with loads of reef sharks swimming around us, was kinda scary but an awesome experience. I took a load of photos but it's a little hard to see them as it wasn't easy getting close to them and visibility wasn't great that shallow...



After the sharks we chilled out for a while and all decided that it was time to Bangkok, so we have all headed over here and now I'm trying to work out my next move.

I'm currently sat at the computer with explosive diarrhea trying to decide whether to go into Cambodia with two of the israeli's or maybe go up north to Chang Mai and Pai.... Decisions decisions

Koh Phangan

After the National park myself, Jack, Mikey and the two Canadian girls (Tekera and Ally) were ready for a change of tack and some party action, so booked on to a party bus to the full moon party. The minibus journey was hilarious, the driver had thumping dance music blaring out to the point that my ears were hurting! Being the Mr organised that I am, we hadn't bothered organising any accommodation, and the entire island was supposedly booked out as 30,000 people descended for the full moon. The canadian girls had spent two hours on Tonsai bay a week or so before phoning around places trying to get somewhere to stay, so me Jack and Mikey were expecting that we may have to just lob our bags intot he girls room and sleep on the beach.... However, when we got to the girls resort we asked and they had one bungalow left. The resort was fucking amazing, had a swimming pool etc and our bungalow overlooked the ocean and had a hammock and a little beach area with a fire pit and BBQ, so we went and bought some fish at the local market and cooked our own dinner. In the evening (night before the full moon) we decided we'd go for a beer. Needless to say Simon Moderation Bayliss ended up out until 8am after drinking a magig mushroom milkshake in Haad Rin.

 Felt like a complete bag of shit all of that day so spent most of it in my hammock trying to recover in time for the full moon. By 9pm we'd got in a bottle of vodka and as that started to kick in the recovery was complete. Our resort was at the furthest point from the party so the "taxi" journey took about 45 minutes. There were about 12 of us packed onto the back of a pick up truck which was great crack. When we got there it was absolute panadmonuim around there. By the time it got to about 4am I was 6 buckets in and eveything was pretty blurry by that point, but I distinctly rememember making my way back up to mushroom mountain, and it was another 8am finish! There was the real dregs of society left on haadrin beach by that time, obviously including myself! As the sun came up there were alsorts of things slowly getting revealed, many of which you wouldn't want to witness. My arm was also killing, turned out that I'd tried to take on the burning skipping rope, but by that time I could see about 5 ropes so I took a burning rope to the arm! After a day of recovery I hired a moped and went off to see some more of the island. The roads in parts had no paving and it was ridiculously dangerous, at one point my ped was sliding sideways dwon a 45 degree hill and I had zero control, luckily nothing was coming the other way and I managed to keep the ped upright so no damage done!

Kho Sok National Park

After 4 or 5 days on Railay and TOnsai Bay myself, Jack and Mikey decided we wanted some adventure, so booked a bus to the Koh Sok national park. We'd read that there were king cobras, tigers, elephants, wild boars, tarantula's and alsorts of motherfuckers out there... When we got there we checked into some awesome riverside huts on massive stilts (floods during the wet season). We had a look at some of the trekking and camping packages on offer but they al seemed quite expensive (2500bt for a one day and one night package, where you get a guide and go on a night safari and camp out in the jungle)

We were mulling this over and then I spotted two of the Bristol boys from Tonsai and a couple of canadian girls that were travelling with them. We decided that we'd hire our own tens for 50bt (one pound) and do our own jungle trek. We were all slightly nervous about this but no one admitted to this. When we set off I was the most vigilant I'd ever been, as I was fully expecting a king cobra to jump out of the jungle and bite me in the face. The seven of us trekked about 10km and swam in some waterfalls and jumped of some rocks into plunge pools. We hadn't really spotted anywhere that was suitable for camping and the sun was going down pretty quickly. Then I spotted a tiny little sand bar on the edge of the river, which was just about big enough to fit three tents. To save money me jack and mikey decided we'd just get a two man tent between the three of us, which was a pretty spacious affair!



Bobby big tent



Once we'd got the tens up the lads headed off to get some fire wood and we got a camp fire going. We'd ordered some take away thai food that morning so had some food already prepared. When it got dark there were some seriously freaky noises going on. We were a tad nervous but it was time for our own night safari.... Saw some massive poisonous looking spiders but no snakes



Big assed spider



After a very relaxing nights sleep in the jungle we trekked back to civilization taking in a few more waterfalls along the way (links to all of the photos in the picassa album on the right).The seven of us booked on to a trip to Chieow Laan Lake.

The lake was absolutely stunning. It is about 160sq/km in size and there are huge limestone outcrops everywhere. Our destiniation was a floating village, which literally just floats there on bamboo! We went for some kayaking and they made us some amazing food, then headed off trekking and caving. When we arrived at the cave I wasn't quite prepared for what we were about to do. We had to swim fully submerged at times, bats all over the roof and spiders all over the walls! It was fully exhilarating and I now really want to do something like this again. My head lamp sucked and everytime I put my hand on the wall to get balance I didn't know if I was about to be bitten by one of the many golden orb spiders down there!



 

When we got back to Khoh Sok we decided that we wanted some more island action, specifically full moon party on Koh Phangan...

Tonsai Bay

Hello all, apologies for not updating this blog thus far, it has been an extremely hectic month! So here we go....

Railay / Tonsai Bay

After leaving Singapore I flew to Krabi, which is a small port town serving the islands in the Adaman Ocean. I opted to go to Tonsai Bay on a longboat as the "vibe" sounded like it suited my tastes (a lot of Reggae bars, Bob Marley pictures etc).... I got there and the place was just stunning, beach bars and bungalows all along a small stretch of coast.

Tonsai Bay

When I got there I had a wonder around looking for the cheapest bungalow I could find, which I found for 300bt (about 6 quid). The room was basic at best. There was no electricity until 7pm when they turned on the generators. I had my first experience of a thai toilet, after I'd been I noticed that there was no flush but there was a bucket and some sort of scooper. I was a little bit baffled as there was no where to "dispose" of the stool, and also the scoop seemed a bit big to even fit into the bowl. I opened the door and there was a young girl stood facing me and I asked her where I was supposed to throw the dump, she started pissing herself and apparently you're supposed to scoop water out pf the bucket and into the toilet to flush it away! Definitely made more sense!



My tidy bed



 The bungalow itself was right in the middle of a jungle just off the beach, I wasn't really sure of what lay in store for me in this fucking area, I had seen a big assed spider when I was going for a crap, which helped with my "movement"!



Bungalow









I spent my first evening there having a few beers with some lads that I met, of few of whom lived in Bristol. Within a few minutes I'd established that we had two mutual aquaintances. A lad called Casper who used to work at GVA and Matt who currently works in the BPMC department at GVA.... We went to a local bar called stoners and sampled some of the local produce. Stumbled back to my bungalow and for the next 3 hours I was staring at the many holes in the wall waiting for a snake or a spider to crawl its way through, eventually took a valium and fell asleep! When I woke up in the morning I could hear something scratching around outside and tiptoed upto the door, no shit there was a fucking monitor lizard that must've been two metres long! I crept back into my room to get my camera but by the time I got back it had lumbered off into the bushes. Then another one that was a bit smaller but still about 1m long came out of the bushes, I was feeling a bit unsure about staying in this place by then, but I'd already booked myself in for 4 nights by that point!





Monitor Lizard



I went and got some breakfast and met two americans called kelley and Trevor. They were cool as fuck and told me that they were had gone to a lagoon on the island, which they described as being a bit tricky to get to but worth it. I decided I'd go and check it out that day. Tricky didn't come close, there were vertical rock faces with bits of rope dangling down that I literally just had to lower myself down on. Some of them didn't even have ropes so had to take up some ametuer rock climbing



"tricky" descent to the lagoon

It took about an hour to climb up the mountain and then down into the lagoon. The lagoon is\tself was alright but it felt like a proper adventure getting there. When I got down there I met a couple of english lads called Jack and Mikey, who I'd later end up travelling with for a couple of weeks.

The next day me, Jack and Mikey went to Phanang beach, which was also on Railay. Met the Bristol lads there aswell and some american girls and spent the day sunbathing and jumping off some big assed rocks into the sea which was quality (sorry about the orientation opf the photo, can't work out how to rotate them!). I got entangled in a jelly fish at one stage and it felt like I was getting electricuted, which some fat american blob thought was hilarious, if it didn't hurt so much I'd have wrapped it around his fat sweaty peado face. By the time I managed to get it off me it was about 3cm from my testicles so it was no laughing matter!!!